IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
