She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i believe in u and ur pee
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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