Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
