Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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