i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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