He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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