no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
