We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
