She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
