Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
