I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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