Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
