I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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