If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
