oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
