this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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