My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize