Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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