i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
