How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
birth control should be required to get into college
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
