hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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