I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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