Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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