btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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