One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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