well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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