...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize