Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize