when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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