i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We named our party play list daddy issues
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
