did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
