His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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