the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He shit in the fireplace
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
