i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
