I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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