It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
