Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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