I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
well you can't waste a boner
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
