He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
