if i can run in heels then i can drive
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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