Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
