I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
