The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
