were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
