her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
