Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
There's even glitter on my cock...
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