she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
