my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
