turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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