i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
