So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
