he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
