IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
