Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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