Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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