Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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