someone get that fucking seahorse.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
