There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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